Sleep

It’s been the bane of my existence since I can remember. I remember at a very young age lying in my bed at night staring at the ceiling. years later, I would lie awake at night kicking and swearing at my sheets in exhaustion.
Now in my adulthood, I still struggle with sleep. I spend many nights staring at the ceiling cursing the clock for ticking away time without slumber. I typically go to bed around 9:30-10, and wake up between 6-7 (not by choice). On a good night I get 7 hours of interupted sleep, but only when I’m sleeping with my best friend Ambien. Even then , I never feel rested. When my friend is not with me, I have nights like last night. Two hours. Two hours of disturbed slumber, and then I’m up and dragging /running through my day. The dog next door has insomnia too. He barks incessantly all night long. I lie there and wonder what would happen if I threw him a hotdog stuffed with benadryl.. Not that it would help me fall asleep any faster. My eyes start to droop, my mind slows down, my body relaxes (finally). I’m drifting into dreamland………… then baby wakes up screaming his little guts out. He knows….. I love and smoosh his fat cheeks as I nurse him and tuck him back into bed. I pray that he’ll fall back to sleep without a fuss. I fall back into my sheets to start all over again. Dog barking, Mind reeling, baby cries again.
Sleep sucks!
I want more of it.
My Dr decides that years of sleeplessness and fatigue warrants a sleep study..
Wires, glue, paste, strange bed.... but pitch darkness, silence, and no baby to wake me up if in fact I fall asleep.
Results? This, Upper Airway Resistant syndrome. Not quite sleep Apnea, but a definite loss of good sleep. The example I read describes it like breathing through a coffee straw.
Weird? Yes.. But hummm Maybe a solution in my future:? We’ll see. I have to see an ENT (that’s Ear Nose & Throat Dr. for you non-medical people) next week.
I’m a little excited about what it might feel like to actually feel refreshed when I get up in the morning. To actually have a real nights sleep. Being tired, from one or two bad nights of sleep is so much better than being fatigued, and tired from years of not really sleeping.
Here’s hoping for an easy solution. (That doesn’t involve big bulky masks poofing air into my nose)