Babtism

I can't believe that Ali will be baptised in less than two weeks! I feel so old! I feel so proud.

she is SO excited. the other day we met with the primary president and the other little girl that will be baptised the same day. We planed the program and Ali got her little list of instructions and jumpsuit.

she was positively glowing when we walked out. It warms my heart, because I really feel like she can feel the spirit with her, and that it really does mean more to her than just "hey, I'm 8!, its time to get baptized!".

I thought back to when I was 8 and got baptised. I remember how I felt that day,and wondered if I felt the spirit back then.

I did.

I know I did, because I wasn't doing it for anyone else. My family wasn't in any way active in the church. My friends weren't either. It was me and me alone, who made the decision, who went to Sunday school, who felt it deep in my heart, and prayed on my own about it, even when I didn't know what I was praying for.

My mom always said that I was "born to be Mormon", and she said it sincerely, She said it without judgement.

When I was younger one of my favorite movies was Saturday's Warrior. I got my own copy of it when I was 15 and I still have it to this day. (my Kids love it)

I can still sing every word!

I loved that movie. I loved it because I could feel the spirit with me when I watched it. funny thing for a 15 year old.. it was something that helped me through rough times. I was typical emotional, trying to find myself teen, and one of the only things I KNEW, was that I believed in how I felt when I prayed, or when I watched that horribly tacky movie!

I'm so happy for Ali. Happy that she has an understanding of what it means, that she gets that opportunity, and that I get to watch her grow and learn spiritually. Its truly an amazing thing to feel close to our Heavenly Father.

Its an amazing feeling to know that he has a plan for us, and that we can live with him again someday.



UPDATE

Bishop Spiers just called to let me know that Ali's baptism might be postponed due to the fact that Ex's Father will not be ready (according to his bishop) to be able to bapstise her on the 2nd. I hate that Ex has the control to make it this way.

Bishop Spiers told me that it sounds like "his mother is calling the shots" and that its too bad that they don't think about Ali. Why won't they allow someone else to do it?

Taylor can do it! He wants SO badly to do it! He is broken hearted that Ex won't let him. Ex will never let it happen. He has too much anger, too much hatred.

I have to call Ex and talk to him about it...I am shaking like a leaf..
I told Bishop as much.
I fear the anger, the control, the irrational ranting. I have no choice. Bishop said that just the few times he dealt with Ex and 'his mother' was bad enough, and that they were "not nice people".
I wish someone else could do it.
Heavenly father, give me courage!

I can only pray for guidance, for strength.