Its celebrate Mattie day!

One year ago today I gave birth to a beautifully cone headed baby boy. A baby that my husband and I had worked for over a year to conceive. He was our little "miracle", the completion of our family.
One year ago, I walked up and down the streets of my neighborhood in the pouring rain, begging my body to induce labor..
I feel guilty admitting this, but I also took many rounds jumping on the small trampoline in the playroom..
My contractions began sometime in the afternoon that Friday. I didn’t want to believe that they were anything but Braxton hicks in fear of disappointment. So I refused to time them.
My friend Charity was over at the time, and took it upon herself to do it.
My contractions were sometimes 5 minutes apart and sometimes 12 minutes apart. The inconsistency left me even more incredulous. We went on about our evening.
But they kept coming. And I kept walking. I pretended it wasn't happening.
My Ex picked up the girls for his weekend visitation sometime around 6. My friend had left, and I had made no mention to the girls about my labor.
There I was alone in the house trying not to get my hopes up, but keeping one eye on the clock when another pain would come. I was so nervous, that I couldn’t eat. I just paced the house in anticipation.
A few hours later Taylor arrived home. It was about 8 pm.
I casually told him that I thought we should take a walk to my parents house to see if "I could get these contractions going”. I could see the excitement in his eyes.
It was already planned that my mother would come to the hospital with Taylor and I, so we decided to walk the 4-5 blocks to my parent’s house. We walked in the rain exhilarated with the thought that maybe we’d be having our baby soon. We sat casually in my parent’s kitchen, laughing and telling my mom that she was on call through the night. I still wasn't sure.
We walked home around 10 again in the rain, and I thought maybe I should try and get some rest. I still couldn’t eat, but lied in bed trying to be still so that Taylor could rest.
The contractions were getting stronger and closer together.
I couldn’t sleep.
I wasn’t’ sure what I was supposed to do. Wasn't my water supposed to break?
It had with my first two children and that had been an automatic reason to head to the hospital.
I think I just kept expecting that to happen again, and when it didn’t I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I called the labor and delivery floor at the hospital and talked to one of the nurses. She told me that they like contractions to be at least 3-5 minutes apart before coming in.
Mine were anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes apart and becoming more and more uncomfortable. I couln't lie in bed any longer.
We decided to call my mom and head in.
It was about midnight. She’d been waiting up, and excitedly drove right over to pick us up.
We arrived at the hospital around 1 am.

They checked me and I was only dilated to a 3. They sent me out to walk.
We walked and walked and walked.. Stopping every few minutes to hold onto something and breathe through a contraction. They hurt. I felt like I was in my own scene from a movie. Breathe, “hee hee whoo, hee hee whoo”
At three I couldn’t walk any longer it hurt, and I was exhausted.
I was barely dilated to a 4.
We were all tired, and at that point I told my Mom and Taylor to go ahead and rest. I knew it was going to be a while before anything happened. I didn't know however that they were both going to sleep through the worst part of my labor!
For the next two hours as my contractions became more and more painful, I sat clenching my fists and teeth trying to not wake either of them. I held my breath, I tried to breath, I tried to focus... it HURT! I did that for two hours. When they both started to wake up, the first thing I said to them was “I WANT MY EPIDURAL NOW PLEASE!” Did I mention that it HURT?.
I probably should have asked for it earlier, but I was scared. It had been 4 years since my last one, and I forgot how much they were worth the discomfort! I think a small part of me was also holding out a little to see how much I could handle. I had to wait another 3 hours before the anesthesiologist came in. The relief was marvelously appreciated. When the anesthesiologist left I said to my mom and Taylor “ Halalula chickaboola” which is what Megan said every time she was happy. It was so fitting at that moment! I finally lied back in the bed and took a deep breath.
I hadn’t eaten for about 20 hours at that point, and I was extremely famished. They wouldn’t let me drink either because they had started me on pitocin to kick up my contractions. I was tired, hungry, thirsty, and anxious but thankfully out of pain for the time being.
Around 9 am my Dr came in and broke my water. That was interesting. WOoooshhh! A few hours later my epidural started to wear off and I asked for some more drugs. My Nurse informed me that the anesthesiologist was in a c-section and couldn’t come. She checked my cervix and decided that I was about ready to push anyway, So it was a little late for more drugs. I was getting anxious..
My Dr came in and told me that I would start to feel an involuntary urge to push. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but no sooner had she said that when my body all of the sudden took over! It was pretty amazing to know and feel your body doing exactly what it was meant to do. … It was about 12:30 pm. My Dr was getting everything prepped and asked me to give a good push. I pushed once and she stopped me telling the nurse to call in an extra labor nurse, and to call over a NICU nurse. I was confused and I asked if everything was okay. She told me it was normal, although I knew it wasn’t. They brought in an ultrasound machine and placed it on my belly as my Dr worked ‘down below’ telling me to push. She assured me that everything was fine although I was nervous anyway. Mattie the little stinker had decided to lie posterior and was STUCK! He was wedged in my pelvis.
My Dr tried to turn him around over and over again but he refused to budge I was exhausted after 21 hours of labor, no food and nothing to drink. I pleaded with the nurse for some apple juice. Having my epidural wearing off at this point made it possible for me to actually feel where I was pushing. It took awhile, but I gathered all the strength I could muster and I pushed that little booger out! He was born at 1:32 pm. 7 pounds 13 ounces, and 20 inches long. It was an amazing feeling to be able to feel the birth. I was still numb enough to not feel the burning fire pain that I’ve often heard described, but I was able to feel the pressure, and movement of his body as it emerged. His poor head was hideous. He was so bruised and beaten. He had a large cephalohematoma that lasted about two weeks. We hid it well under his tiny little newborn cap. I found out months later that when Taylor called to tell our work, he told our clerk that his head was shaped funny. The clerk had told him it would go away and she said he was relieved.. He never did tell me that personally! Matt has been such a blessing to our family. He’s given us all a sense of unity among us. The girls adore, him. He isn’t even aware of the Joy he has brought to our lives.
Our little guy.
Happy Birthday baby boy.